Difficult

Difficult.

Monday 4th January, 2021

Difficult.

A difficult word to get out of my head, such as it is, when always, always, it brings so many difficult things into my head.

The top three items on the difficult list being, of course: staff, students and sustainability.

But, as usual, such difficulties as would be too much for lesser Heads than myself, can be overcome by one such as myself, with a generous application of creative genius. And for some reason, I always find my juices to be in full flow on such evenings as this. Because, whereas it is true that the masses will name New Year´s Eve as the best time for coming up with revolutionary ideas, for me, it is always the evening before the obligatory Teacher Training Day. And with TT Eves being triannual, this gives me more opportunities than most for disseminating the best of what it is to be me.

And this is it. My manifesto for change. By way of a rare dress rehearsal, I tell it as it is, and as I will be presenting it to my staff in the morning.

Thank you, all, for the warm welcome back. I had a well-deserved Christmas break, thank you!

When I say break, it was not so much a break as a time for thinking about what is important to me. For thinking about this school, my school, and how to make it even more of a standout success in 2022, than it was in 2021. I have, as you will expect, come up with a Plan for Improvement that is my best yet.

First and foremost: staffing issues. Following up on some helpful advice I gave him, I am pleased to announce that the Education Secretary, has published his (my) government-sanctioned procedures for how schools must cope with staff absences during a pandemic.

Today, we have an extremely poor turnout of teachers and I have no doubt, when staff have to actually teach tomorrow, rather than just turn up for the delights of hearing my wisdom and for a free lunch, there will an even poorer turnout. To pre-empt any issues, as of tomorrow you will be tripling-up. Three classes will be amalgamated into one, to be taught together under the charge of three members of staff. This means that if one of you is sick, the other two can easily manage in your absence, and if two of you are sick, there will still one remainder. This does away with the need for supply staff, most of whom are far too old and infirm to be of any benefit in any case. Why use up our limited budget on used goods?

And yes, I know you will be concerned about student behaviour, but do remember that our students are, when all is said and done, just children. Children can be excitable, but they do not, under any circumstances, misbehave. You are, I believe, adults. As adults, you are more than able to deal with an excitable bunch of children, be it a small or large bunch.

And, before you ask about any ventilation issues that could potentially arise with increased class sizes, this is all sorted. We have just experienced the warmest Christmas on record, and the same high temperatures are set to continue into January and beyond. I have therefore, made the necessary arrangements for all classes to be open air, for which which there is ample space.

And finally, to kick-start us into the new term, and to save any squabbles about who triples up with whom, I will ask one of you to pick three pieces of paper from this hat and read out the names on them. One of the chosen three will then select a paper from this other hat, which will allocate you an outdoor space. As soon as you know your group and location, you must proceed forthwith to collect the required amount of chairs and tables, and I will be generous in allowing you to use the rest of today to set up your new teaching environments.

That´s the team spirit: all in the name of sustainability – gather yourselves up, make do and move!

Pretty pleased with that. Should go down a treat with the teachers tomorrow.

That is, if I don´t happen to go down with Covid myself, before …

Anon.

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