Friday 7th January, 2022
Update on Teacher Training Day.
My open-air classroom idea went down a treat. A treat, as in not a single soul amongst the mass of my teaching staff felt it within their remit to comply. Ask a student to pick a chair up and move it from one location to another and, yes, they will complain about it. They will complain, but they, for the most part, will comply.
But the teacher?
The teacher has a lot to learn from the student.
Not one single teacher, even under threat of a sacking, would pick up even one single chair and take it outside. And as for shifting the tables, that was complete no-go.
The trouble being that during a pandemic, the teacher, whatever it’s quality and worth, believes that it is completely safe and secure.
It has a point.
With 40% of teaching staff absent, supposedly with Covid-19, the standing teacher, much as it grieves me to acknowledge it, has become indispensable. And doesn’t it know it?
Of course, being an innovator, it was natural for me to take it upon myself to lead the way. Someone has to be the first to take action, if others are to follow.
Hence, I picked up my staff; sorry, I mean I picked up a chair and proceeded to the gym’s exit point, at the same time as bidding my flock to follow. On reaching Tennis Court A, I positioned the chair in a convenient place, allowing its feet to touch ground with some finality, before turning around to address my followers.
There were no followers.
Shame. Shame on them! Drastic measures were required.
Hence, on the following day, as soon as the students had settled themselves down in their registration rooms, I proceeded to the next step.
“Students, stand up and be counted! Pick up your chair and proceed to the nearest fire exit. Today, all lessons will be take place in our brand new purpose-built suite of classrooms. This school is in the unique position of having been selected for a trial-run of the latest technological innovation – some state-of-the-art air conditioners. And, given enough positive reviews from yourselves, we might even get to keep them cost-free.”
And what do you know? I didn’t even need to repeat the instruction. Such was the enthusiasm for leaving the school building that I had to call in the heavies to deal with the pile-ups as the students all jostled to be the first to put six feet onto the tarmac.
By the heavies, I am, as is obvious, referring to the teachers. Well, what did they expect, if they weren’t willing to move a few chairs and tables themselves. Shame on them!
Needless to say, the days lessons proceeded swimmingly. Literally, swimmingly. At the first appearance of the tiniest droplet of rain, the students all arose in perfect synchronisation, and propelled their whole body back into the school building, leaving their teachers to drown.
And drown they did.
Such joy as I had never known before, came over me, as I bore witness to the first teacher to step back indoors with six feet, rather than just the two! And my joy turned to ecstasy as I turned doorman and started to count the rest of them in: six, twelve, sixteen, twenty-four, thirty-six, ….. Does the six-times table not stop there? Seemingly not.
Forty-two, forty-eight, fifty-four, sixty …. Hang on! Maths was never my strong point. Where do I go from ….
Still, it’s Friday now. First week of term done and dusted.
And the Monday coming remains to be seen.
Copyright owned by Suidae Trough, Secret Diary Publicist, January 2022
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