A downer.
A downer, however I look at it.
The downer being the state of affairs I am forced to consider, on this fine-sunny-Sunday afternoon, when really …
Really, I should be out there on my Space Hopper, doing the crunch and toning up my abs.
Instead, the only thing being crunched, is a selection of Cheese Balls – an absolute necessity in the circumstances. The circumstance necessitating my immediate consideration, besides the Cheese Balls, being this ridiculous and in-my-face headline:
Covid cases plunge across UK as infections fall by 44% in a week
A circumstance that wastes no time in expanding and exploding into circumstances in the multiple:
Circumstance 1: Staff absences due to covid-related sickness, neglible. So much for the predictions of the political press: Headteachers will need to make ‘difficult decisions’ in January, as ‘Staff shortages’ are likely to lead to ‘remote learning’. Warning to self. Never be literal when interpreting anything surmised by the Education Correspondent of the I news. And always, always, check the credibility of the quoted source, who in this instance was, as anyone but me might have found suspect, one of my fellows. A Headteacher. Source, unreliable.
Circumstance 2: My unprecedented lack of judgement is most unfortunate as, in celebration of New Year, I was fortuitous in placing a bet on the probability of Boris sanctioning a full lockdown, by the third week of the school term. Bet, lost.
Circumstance 3: So convinced was I, of my predictive accuracy, that I was precipitous in paying for an extended sleepover at my favourite holiday destination, a certain hideaway that for reasons of confidentiality, I have come to know by its nickname of The Palace of Persuasion. Payment, non-refundable.
Circumstance 4: Inconvenient as it is, have no choice but to put in a physical appearance at my Academy tomorrow.
Circumstance 5: I have just downed my fifth glass of consolatory Bittermens tonic liqueur. Glass, refillable.
Circumstance 6: Might not make it into work tomorrow after all. Staff and students, inconsolable.
Circumstance 7: Head, sick. Reasonable —
Given the circumstances.
Copyright owned by Suidae Trough, Secret Diary Publicist, Sunday 16th January 2022
in the new term and. Warning to self. Never be literal when interpreting anything printed in the I.
Secret Diary Publicist 